Coming back to life!!

My due apologies for being away.. really far away for long. Lots changed since last. Some had to while some just did. With great disdain and admiration for life as much and also for all my loved ones, I would very shortly start sharing all that happened .

Be AROUND!

A soul that seeks solace in a crowd
Ratin ..

Bobby

Three times the reward in minutes, the quickest ever. Life can be so much better, this way!! But ...
And so thought Bobby, The Gambler.

He judges how the terrain looks like and how others fare out. Some seem to be blessed by lady luck while others get rubbished to dust and feel cursed. While some choose to leave after having learnt their lesson, while some seem to indulge once again.

Bobby introspects and says “know your capabilities and strengths well.. Judge the terrain you’d fight in and the ones you would fight with. Sometimes the battle is within you and with you, make decisions based on a rationale, never on impulse or greed for more”

He looks around and sees no two people the same. Either in terms of they look or how they come across as even if they are all for the same purpose, to win. Some seem desperate while others some more. Some are trying their skill at an easier way of making bucks, while some are still learning the remaining few are bound by their addiction which is now a chronic habit owing to the adrenalin rush that he moment has to offer.

Bobby introspects and says “Everyone wants to win; everyone wants to be happy.
None want to loose; no one wants to be sad. Happiness and melancholy are subjective. What matters most is how badly you want. The path to it defines on the true creditability of the whether the moment turns out joyful or mournful.


A board nailed on the wall at an eye level. A periphery created around it with two men inside helping the others around to lay their bet and then either returning the double of what was put earlier or putting it all in their booty in case you lost your bet. The board has small squares in a pattern. The squares coloured in sex different colours. Red, black, blue, green, yellow and white. You choose your colour and the shooter throws the dart on the board. Three darts and the colours are six. Probability reduced by half. Bobby sees the trend of the colours that get repeated. Follow what the biggies in the game are placing their bet on. Follows intuition and sometimes the leader of the rooster and lays his bet..

Bobby introspects and says “ Why should someone else decide whether you win or loose. How we look for patterns and schema's to be able to make our win easy. Though we see only our colour on the board and we wish, the dart hits it, the shooter (who is not you) is focusing on his. A misjudgement on his part offers a chance for you to get rewarded. But is it the only way you’d want to be rewarded, ask yourself”

The dart leaves with force and hits the coloured square on the board that Bobby laid his bet on just like so many others and many more that didn’t. His money has doubled while half totally lost theirs.

Bobby introspects and says “Not everyone wins, some have to loose, today them; tomorrow it could be you. Always know why are you struggling, what shall mark the end of it, who are you struggling “

The game moves on, Bobby gets a double back. Some have left realising that they were at the terrain where they’d never be able to cope up and why they should be here. They have left realising the value of things they didn’t earlier. Or Bobby hopes so.

Bobby introspects and says “There are no shortcuts to getting of getting to your goal. Sometimes there are but you should know they always won’t exist. The quicker you’ve decided to get to a point the faster you’ve had to run missing out on the journey others are cherishing on their way. You make a choice.

The entire round of the next bet starts again, Bobby decides to place his bet on the colour that another person who seems confident and comes across as a great gambler chooses.
Dart's thrown. Neither his nor Bobby’s colour has been graced by the darts hit. Bobby has lost the bet. Emotions have changed and so has his view of everything around including him changed.

Bobby introspects and says “winning encourages and losing discourages; it is then you choose between the roads ahead; get up and go back to win or make an exit owing to the realisation that you don't belong there”

Bobby's heart is throbbing. He can never face defeat . He does not like to loose just like everyone else. Just like the small boy who only likes to bat but never ball. The euphoria has now turned into a extreme anger over something that he had no control over, the colour the dart would strike but he did have an option, Not to Play.

Bobby introspects and says "Every living minute life offers us a choice, an option! Some times its easy to make a decisions while the other times its a little more trying. The outcome arrived at is the aftermath of the decision made; Good yields and wrong yields a learning, how well we learn from it was sets one different from the other"

Bobby has his friend Guru who he has got with him to show him another world. The bet is laid again. Many more do the same too. Some praying, some hoping some seem confident of their lady luck with them while others like Bobby just lay the bet!

Bobby introspects and says "Put necessary thought where you have a control over the outcome owing to a calculative analysis, strategy and planning; Over analysis would always lead to paralysis; think and act; anymore thought to where it is not required would lead to clouding of rational thought"

Dart strikes Bobby's chosen colour. He has won again. He has risen above the earlier defeat. The sweet taste of coming back from dust to gold is indeed rewarding for The Great Gambler Bobby. The value of the price laid has doubled.

Bobby introspects and says " Rising above defeat is life; To take chances means to be ready to make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave and this makes you come back stronger”

GOODNIGHT SHOT
The time arrives when most leave, Bobby and Guru stay on! Its the goodnight shot as they call it. The last shot of the night and after this the curtains would fall and it'll be another day in Bobby's life and like is so many Else's.

He lays the bet with he has.

Bobby introspects and says "Do not fear risk. All exploration, all growth is calculated. Without challenge people cannot reach their higher selves. Only if we are willing to walk over the edge can we become winners”

The dart hits. the second dart hits again. Both darts have hit the colour booby chose for the Goodnight shot. The reward is now three times.. He is trembling

An Overwhelmed Bobby sees everything move around him and a certain stillness engulfs him. Many have lost what they wanted had doubled or even tripled just as is so happened with Bobby. They might have had debts to pay off, important work that they needed money for and much more. And Bobby had no reason to play. He just wanted to!

Bobby introspects and says "You will always have two choices in life, to be happy for your win or be submerged in others melancholy because they lost for your won; Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing.”

Bobby leaves with his friend,Guru. They sit and Bobby thinks:

Life at every instance is a gamble. A gamble of decisions, choices and promises. It is not as ugly as we think it is.Its we who make it so.

Everyone wants to go to heaven and meet God, But no one wants to Die! Everyone wants to make money the quickest and be happy the longest, but we all wish to take the way up there which is the shortest

Its all unexpected in life, every moment. The thrill with no purpose should be condemned.

There can never be a shortcut to success, the quicker you get up there the lesser the chances you would stay there.

The Bible does warn us, however, to stay away from the love of money (1 Timothy 6:10; Hebrews 13:5). Scripture also encourages us to stay away from attempts to “get rich quick” (Proverbs 13:11; 23:5; Ecclesiastes 5:10).

Materialism is not the only purpose of life. Cars, bikes , shoes, fancy clothes, bags and much more are like web of seduction. the more you get into the web the more it wraps in it.


Everyone has a Bobby within them. Who is lazy and wants to get happy without working for it, wants to get rich faster, work lesser, get famous and so on. How much "bobby" within you is fed and encouraged the more you are ready to go the wrong path.

The reward of blood and sweat gives you a peaceful and rewarding sleep, the other way only restlessness. Be honest and true in life.

WORK HARD.BE HONEST..LIVE HAPPIER... DIE HAPPIER..

Bobby..

This story above is our experience at a gambling joint that we happened to be at out of curiosity. The place was called skill games. We entered wondering what skill games would be in there.And thus..

When asked for his name.. He called himself..

BOBBY.. They later called him BOBBY THE GAMBLER


WHO IS BOBBY ??
WHO IS BOBBY ??
WHO IS BOBBY ??
WHO IS BOBBY ??

Here's for all you loved ones ..
who wanted to know who is 'BOBBY'!










click to enlarge

With all my love and more.
Till my next stint with destiny and some more teaching that life would offer

for today
Bobby...

Confession at St. Mary's !!

“It was the contemplation of God that created men who were equal, for it was in God that they were equal”

The day began at almost a very unusual dawn. Sleep drowning my eyes and a soft numbness soothing my veins. A very typical feeling that is often induced with extreme exhaustion. But that is indeed worth a cherish.

The High point in the day came about quite unexpectedly when in the afternoon I happened to visit the commercial city centre for an assignment with a fellow colleague Alwyn Sir. As nice and kind as he always is.

As destiny would have it we happened to be around St. Mary's Basilica. The Basilica is located at the Archdiocese of Bangalore in the Indian state of Karnataka. It is the oldest church in Bangalore and is the only church in the state that has been elevated to the status of a minor basilica.


THE ST. MARY'S BASILICA, BANGALORE

The Basilica has been built in Gothic-style with arches, ornamental motifs and stained glass windows. Multiple columns and tall spires.The stained glass behind the altar seem to render a fragrance of purity in the church.
These windows though were removed during World War II and were subsequently restored in 1947 .



THE ALTAR AND THE ELABORATE ROOF


THE PILLAR AT THE CHURCH

I walked in with all due humility for The Creator.A few moments later, thoughts seemed to form a whirlpool. Intrigued and amazed I wondered why. It felt that at the holy place, with my eyes fixed at the altar, It felt faced with my own conscience. Answers to questions that must have been unconsciously striking up and down my mind faced answers and reason.
Such is the Grace and power of the Lord

I am enlightened about how what we plant in the soil of contemplation we shall reap in the harvest of action. This comes after seeing figures so skillfully crafted at the Basilica depicting the Lord's resurrection and infant Jesus along with so many more.

"O Holy Father, forgive them for they know not what they do"
Sacrifice for the one who put the gravest pain on us. Forgive him too. How easy did the Lord make this seem. I also Judas , one of the Apostles that the Lord had also have a place in the church. I very inquisitively asked " But did he not betray the Lord" , quick is the reply at the speed of light from Allwyn. Lord taught us 'Admit your mistake, confess and undergo repentance for the same in your own destined way, you shall be pardoned". Forgiveness shall dawn upon you.

Questions lash like whips on my at-that-moment-vulnerable-mind, as to

How difficult is it for us to forgive someone who in a bout of anger shouted at us,
How difficult is it for us to forgive someone who crossed our path by surprise,
How difficult is it for us to forgive someone who fails to not do as we expected,
How difficult is it for us to forgive someone who chose to not comply to a promise,
How difficult is it for us to forgive someone who stepped on our toe accidentally,
How difficult is it for us to forgive someone who pushed us to get into the bus,
How difficult is it for us to forgive someone who broke the que at a KFC
How difficult is it for us to forgive someone who spoke about us behind us
How difficult is it for us to forgive someone who didnt luv us as much we loved them!

But how easy it was for the Lord who carried his own cross
But how easy it was for the Lord who wore a crown of thorns
But how easy it was for the Lord who faced whips while he carried his own cross
But how easy it was for the Lord who faced nails on the cross
But how easy it was for the Lord who faced pain, misery and brutality

But how easy it was for the Lord who chose to forgive all those who did that to Him.

In His magnanimity and generosity we all live
In His love and care we all live
In His generosity we all live
In His kindness we all live
In His forgiveness we all live
In His blessings we all live
In His grace we all live

!! IN HIS KINGDOM WE ALL LIVE !! !!

IN HIM WE ALL LIVE..AND WE SHALL ALL LIVE IN HIM FOR HIM

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace

My father, a man of great understanding and intellect told me once " There are only two truths in the world, DEATH AND GOD, the earlier we realise and accept, the sooner the purpose of existence is revealed.

A day spent in true contemplation of the ever prevalent Almighty!

In search of you , O Lord
Forgive me
Accept me
Embrace me
Love me
Keep me
but never leave me!

With all gratitude and praise due to The Creator and to all His creations alike

Ratin

Shhhhhhhh!!

I am sorry for not making it to this space yesterday. The day begun quite early and the night never seemed to end.. There is still sleep for a day that could be attended to , but there arrive moments in ones life when letting go of that one assumes is important for another, turns out much dearer than what you'd ever expect.

How a day begins and how it ends, a mystery! By the time the stars are up its become a reality . All glorious and open for all to know and see. But i feel its so much so because of what they say "Not without hope we suffer and we mourn". A Hope for good, a hope for love, a hope for change, a hope for better...

The stiffness in the back has made certain movements a little difficult . But shall try and ride it strong.. I Hope... yes hope..

In silent contemplation and some more of it

R A T I N

One impulse from a vernal wood May teach you more of man, Of moral evil and of good, Than all the sages can.

From an end to the beginning of another !!

Many a times in ones life a moment arrives when questions hover around the rational mind of a myriad sorts. Some choose to ponder while many a few turn to it a blind eye. Alas, the question still chooses to persist, how much ever we wished it ceased to. The question of how a definite start and end is defined to even a mere mortal life and yet with one beginning and one end there seem to exist so many start and ends.

All of life is a journey I have concluded at various instances. What paths we take, what we look back on, and what we look forward to is all upto us. Who we decide to meet on the way and why still eludes me.
We sometimes not only determine our destination, but also decide what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there is again none's destiny but choicefully our own.

In a while from now another chapter of my life would come to an end, giving way to yet a fresh new page to be written on. I scribble on it or i choose to 'delightfully' cursive write on it shall be my choice.
Later on if I would ever look back upon the page it'd be only me to blame if i cant 'decipher the scribble' or i'd rejoice seeing the choicefully crafted letters.

In life I realise we all have a choice. Sometimes we understand this by our intutive instincts and the other times while we tread on the hard path.. But no path is good as bad its all adding up. A famous ghazal renders a verse which read as

"acha hoga ya burra hoga.. jo bhi hoga tajurba hoga"
Either good or bad would unfold, what ever would , would do no harm but would render some more to the unforgettable and ever prevalent experience of this journey called LIFE!

Therefore
never regret,
never sweat..
never fear the loss of
that that once was dear..
never loose hope and
loosen your grip on the rope..
neither fight nor cry
but promise and tell thyself
I will not give up but Always Try!!

For then when youre old and frail
and it is all dark and gloomy
it'd be those trying moments that once we lived
that would warm our cold heart Bright and Sunny!!
--ratin


Life i feel is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... "Now That was a ride of a lifetime"

I must now retire for the night with all due gratitude to the creator of this eternal soul and the ever eternal Universe!!




Though I haven't a clue as to how my story and my journey of life shall end. But that's all right. Its is just the same when you set out on a journey and night covers the road, you don't conclude that the road has vanished.
How else could we discover the stars?



with all my love and much more..

Yours Truly
Ratin..

Hope and despair!!

It would be unfair to call yours truly as 'The idle singer of an empty day' owing to not much eventful occurrence in the day where i stayed for the most time in a corner catching up with work that had been screaming for attention .The clock is ticking and ticking indeed quite fast.Time slips at a staggering pace and not long before the hour knocks when it would be time .. Time to leave another city another set of loved ones and like all times A cosy nest. A nest which is symbolic of every twig intertwined in one another.

Every twig holds the bigger nest as one entity.
This nest is a personification of what i got used to making for a larger part of my life ..A new place, a new city, new people new customs, traditions, way of life, resources, dos, don ts... you are scared..apprehensive and cold.. And then you meet people find similar ones and many who are not so. You learn from them because the similar ones only reinforce, while the new and different help develop a perspective.

Time passes by and life moves on and you become one with them..Its no longer the new place with new people .. It is now your place and you are one amongst the then new people.. all starts intertwining ...every emotion and every moment spent is now slowly readying the nest.The late night talk with the boys the walk on the lonely roads..moments of shared emotions.. first heartache to the latest fancy.. missing home..comparing the guy on the road with a pretty girl to how it would if he was back in our city. Tears flowing,,the reassuring promises .. and much more..
All this so softly and swiftly forms into a memory nest . It is here that you find comfort in . You find peace and sense of security in..

One fine day..the clouds start getting darker.. Its time ...Soon there shall be rain.. The time nears when we would have to leave .. The realisation that one wouldn't be able to curl up in comfort and ease after a while. You close your eyes and shut them hard assuming that you're safe in the self induced darkness...

Till the time arrive and one day you have to now look outside the nest and ready to fly to another branch that calls you. Your wings wont spread your muscles would cry but you'd still have fly.. tears would roll down and at certain instanes mid flight you would turn back and see the sight of your nest get fainter and dimmer till you can barely see it. (it is compared to the further you go away from the place you were in )
Time arrives when you would have to leave the once unfamiliar city to a familiar one.. But hey why the tears now.. That's the paradox.

We cry when leave the nest .. every twig of the moments spent lost somewhere in the hush of the Storm that arrived... we knew it would one day.. still we lived.. still we dreamt..still we laughed.. still we made friends.. still we shared..still we cared.. still we stood up for each other.. still we Lived even when we knew we would die one day.

never will we be in the same place in the same capacity but would surely remember that is was here where once our abode was. It was here where our nest was....

My eyes shut tight and i am silent in thought.. I am in the Lull before the storm
Very soon i would have to fly away once again from another lovely nest..another nest added to so many that we had to abandon.. but to leave shall be to live.. for another branch shall beckon us ..




with hope and a little despair
With shut eyes and a prayer
Ratin..

Banglore City 22nd May 09

Indeed how interesting a day can get .A day gone by faster than a blink. I am asked to host Housie for the champs at the hotel. I refrain at first not wanting to go down th memory lane where i'd be on stage and the spotlight on me. It has been quite some time since i felt that. And this game was all about numbers... AAHH
How once numbers in a maths class only seemed to be understood by everyone but me.. how i wondered why would someone want to understand and study them even more. I always felt they were like a solid state of matter. 2 was 2 and needed another two to make another strong entity called a four.. i always swayed towards words and how i felt the same words when put in another context and fashion meant something all together different. I now realise I was naive to never understand the versatality of numbers. Today again it was these numbers at the game of housie that created a moment of laughter cheer and good spirit and all left happy and smiling...forgetting all worries and all that was troubling them , if it was for that moment. With every number that i called out, i rhymed it to a nice naughty fun phrase .Like 'Son of a GUn' number One.. Everything seemed to turn and move. My friend Shabeer very gladly accepted my offer of being with me and helping rudder the ship of the moment to a very different level.

It was so overwhelming to go back into the future when i would sweat at the sight of numbers while all else would seeing my staggering capacity to comprehend them .. Today the same numbers create wellness and a moment of happiness wrapped in memories for times to come.

Ah Its life and we all are but mere players.. Ah Shakespeare so ture ..so true..
How what once made us happy brings tears when we think of it and what we cried on , remembering those moments a smile lights up.

for life and more
Ratin

Plenty and still not enough!! A view from a rainy window

It rains quite heavily outside.. and my thoughts emulate the rain drops...

It is Quite some time since i stayed away from this space. How sometimes life turns and flips quite swiftly and at other times too rapidly fast to comprehend.
Many a thoughts roll in my head... A lot of people have asked me why i write here.. Its just a very humble excuse for me to get to the extended family out there who take out time to go through my words and expressions and I also very conveniently find for myself a non assuming medium that lets me write and express freely . Sometimes you wish nothing fell in the bowls of good or bad, divine or evil, curse or blessing but just stayed as a form of energy afloat.
Alas, Life is never a fiction blockbuster.
I do wonder why sould there always be a 'black' or a 'white' or even a 'gray ' . Why can't we let people pass by us without judging them one bit .Let situations move by without sitting and putting them in perspective. Why cant we come back from a party and just forget that we even went there rather than spend as many number of hours discussing and throbbin on who wore what, who hugged who, who smiled at who and who looked like 'a make up factory' . These are real words and phrases. WHY WHY WHY....

Why can we not be like the silent bird that sits atop the branch with poise and grace and sees the trees sway, the stream flow and the world move. Are we so bound in the shallow of our trivial thoughts and being that judgement of every single instance whether a situation or a person or an event or even those which hold no consequence in the larger life have to be 'graced' with our ever ready comment and take on them.. Given for free and that too most when least asked for!!

Relationships on the other hand are the mother of all when it comes to be in them with the poise of standing with a stance of a 'Gray' or black or white.,.

Expectations galore!! Especially when there is an activity of thought words or action between two energy compositions, here i talk of humans.

How some are loved and loved to the points of insanity. While the same are hated at their very sight. How for some we are the best that we ever be while for same we are now the devil of devils.
How some inspire to let us tread atop the rockiest mountain with ease resembling that of a butterfly while for some even a step is like Cardiac arrest.WHY WHY WHY..

Why is that the same child that is adored loved cuddled and played with when grows up is disliked with the same intensity... Who do you blame.. the world,, the situations,,the circumstances.. OR THE SAME ONCE A CUTE CHILD..



It rained very heavily here.. It was quite overwhelming to see a lash quite heavy as this one.. Such is the fury of nature.. the ever powerful and ever eternal.. a blessing for some while a curse for others.
How the some make 'coffee' 'drive' or even ' romance' plans drawing inspiration from the 'AH WHAT A LOVELY RAIN' weather!! While some who find their abode on the roads would even crave for water to drink even if it rained PLENTY. How IRONICAL!!
QUESTIONS LASH LIKE WHIPS ON MY BARE MIND
what is life ....why are we here..why do we live the way we liveeveryday. how for one life has plenty to offer and for some ... its just a word somewhere out there..
why is some born with plenty as a blessing and others like the plentiful ones..
why some have plenty to eat and still throw while some wish there were fewer 'plenty' so they could get some to eat too... why some can afford to let clothes hang on themm while some die on the streets for they could not fend enough cloth to wrap themselves in... why can some choose what color light to be in while for them they only have a single colour of the candle or a traffic light to choose from..Thats also not a choice.. Why do some die when they arrive and some make otehrs wish for death when they 'arrive ' at a place ...Too many questions... all thought seems to elude me now..



How in an hour of plenty there is still a soul somewhere which seeks peace by other means!!
in deep sorrow and melancholic euphoria,
with all my gratitude
Ratin

Bangalore city..

Not much time at hand but with the many of you who have followed my blog and very ardently called me and appreciated my humble entries on my blog i extend my warm gratitude and best wishes. It is just that i do this as a means to reach out to the extended family and carve out a place for my humble little soul. Its quite intriguing how everything around me always draws me in it and forces me to render myself abode a journey full of ecstasy and thoughts galore. I did promise to show you a few photographs of where I am these days and share with you all from the fountain in the lobby whose subtle trickle draws me to it, the garden and much more. This is just a modest attempt in sharing with you all..
i also feel so close to this poem i want to share with you all..

WANDERED lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of the bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
Pictures from the Hotel I am at these days. . These are my thought inducers everyday.


The lotus in the garden i walk by everyday.

The fountain that 'drowns me in' at every sight


The big Rain tree , moon peeps through it.

The Hotel built around The Rain Tree.



i must go now.. the road beckons me..
with all my love and much more always
Ratin

Bangalore City..13 May

It is indeed sometime since i felt the rush in my veins.. For the good or for not so.. for reasons best known not to me though.. Life has always been like a Hindi movie.. Action ..drama..comedy..melody..villians..heroines..heartbreaks..love songs and sad songs.. climax.. and much more..
It is quite magical how hardwork and struggle brings about a change in ones perception which translates into brighter and clearer view of things around us . It is such a leveller. Making us realise how important and how trivial things really are. I am almost nearing completion of my time here.. it has been indeed a rollercoaster journey.. highs really high and lows at their all time lows.. but now thats what we ae meant to go through before we are to finally realise what life holds in for us..
At this moment lines From Pt. Harivanshrai Bachchans poem ' koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti' seems to ring in my thoughts.. I should share it with everyone..

Nanhi cheenti jab daana lekar chalti hai,
chadhti deewaron par, sau bar phisalti hai.
Man ka vishwas ragon mein saahas bharta hai,
chadhkar girna, girkar chadhna na akharta hai.
Akhir uski mehnat bekar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti.

Dubkiyan sindhu mein gotakhor lagata hai,
ja ja kar khali haath lautkar aata hai
Milte nahi sahaj hi moti gehre paani mein,
badhta dugna utsah isi hairani mein.
Muthi uski khali har bar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahi hoti.

Asaflta ek chunauti hai, ise sweekar karo,
kya kami reh gayi, dekho aur sudhar karo.
Jab tak na safal ho, neend chain ko tyago tum,
Sangharsh ka maidan chhodkar mat bhago tum.
Kuch kiye bina hi jai jaikar nahin hoti,
koshish karne walon ki haar nahin hoti..

needless to say anymore..
In deep reflection and contemplation i retire..
Love and much more always
Ratin

Bangalore City. 10 may..

Well well .. a long day indeed..
Refuse plans to go out for the evening knowing the possibility of not being able to make it out of work early. It is sometimes hard when one sees so much love and affection and importance given to ones presence and yet you are not able to be there. Thank you for being kind.. but its just that sometimes are beyond ones control.. aarrgghhhh! but then the understanding of the same is what sets apart a man from a boy.. or so i believe..
i must retire now.. there is work yet left to be attended to..

Shall return soon.. today is indeed a big day.. Its mothers day after all. a celebration of the one who induces and renders a life... to all those mothers!! god bless you always.. thank you for being so divine always..
With all my love and much more
Ratin

Life..An irony or a fantasy...The Quest!!

Had quite an early start to my day. This happened after a really long time. I remembered my time at Udaipur where sleep would only be a luxury if it crossed five hours a day but nonetheless that’s what I think youth is meant for. To struggle and rough it out. But is it that good only comes to one after he has put himself through a really dark night. Do the first rays of the sun only seem brighter and warmer after one has managed to carry himself through the darkest hour of the night? Maybe yes... maybe no! Time I believe would be the best judge...
My father tells me always ‘Keep walking’. Just two words but they have carried me through every weakest hour. A few words from a father always warm the heart no matter how ‘cold the world seems on the outside’.
My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. Every minute a learning... William Wordsworth said something which holds so true-
He said “Father! To God himself we cannot give a holier name”. No wonder how tall one might grow he still looks UPTO his father. And sure he should!!
Whenever I seem to go through his works and I seem to be lost at the ocean of his works and words. I feel proud and even more overwhelmed at my inadequacy. I feel like reminding myself of the faith entrusted upon me to carry on his work that seeks a place of brilliance and nothing but praise for my father, the Master; who is so gracefully modest of the genius that he is. Years ago my father used to play with me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising ‘THE BOY." .
Not denying the divine presence of the woman who is as loving as always... my mother...!
Well the day seemed quite nice and pleasant in the morning ushering in me a sense of well being and contentment. Though there remained a little stiffness in my back from the night that went by but then work had to be done and presence at work was indeed a must. Work should not suffer... I feel that rest and proper medical attention once I am home would definitely help... Mama I am coming home soon...
My dearest friend Sumit tells me very anxiously of the good work he has been upto at The Hotel I was fortunate to be in a few months ago, The Oberoi Udaivilas. He is definitely a champion and a fighter. I have always learnt so much about good and evil, right and wrong from him. Not to forget the many others who have been as inspiring. I am indeed anxious to know how he pulled off the assignment he was given to carry on through. Do tell me soon …

Well well … a few walks here and there a few chats and a few conversations… and
I am indeed ached by seeing the paradox that life has come to off. And I realize why it has to be the way they tell me it is meant to be. Why do we spill off the innocence that we were born with as life moves on...? Why do we never seem to carry on the faith of love and happiness that we were endowed with when we came into the world?
How ironical it is to see the beginning and end of life . Not to forget the jouney. How the first breath at our arrival is with our tears and all around us are smiles , laughter and biggest cheer .While the last breadth is marked with the same ones crying as intensely as they rejoiced when we came into the world.
How when I see all around I seem to be hounded by such ghory paradoxes that they seem unbelievable. But they are yet so true!!
Taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences but less time. We have more degrees but lesssense, more knowledge but less judgment, more experts yet more problems,more medicine yet less wellness.We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk toomuch, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make aliving, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We'vebeen all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the streetto meet a new neighbour. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned torush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, toproduce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less and even lesser. Ha we now live in the times of big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, toquiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
The time has arrived where who matters to you the most is the same person to who you matter the least. And the one that least matters to you is the one who you matter to the most.
Why why why…??? Can this world and life not be devoid of any of this...? Is there a place where there is no heaven or hell... nothing is too warm to kill or too cold to freeze. Where money is not the basis of survival. Where women don’t sell themselves for a pale of penny or men rob their own brothers of their earned penny.
My heart aches and my soul weeps... it indeed does… but there is only so much I can do...
Maybe some day certainly would some more... but when. .I can feel the pain return to my limbs and joints. I think it is time for me to retire and take proper rest. I am sure that would help me ease of the pain, physiological and psychological...
A quote that I’d want to share that I was sent by a dear friend,

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Aarrrgghghhh…
I need to go back into the cave and resonate in my own silence…
My Love to you all who love me and even more to those who never would... love you more!
Yours always and ever
Ratin...

The rainy day!

It is indeed so heart warming to see so many of my loved ones to acknowledge my words on this space. Thank you indeed for all your messages and calls .. It was just so
overwhelming.. I would certainly quite soon upload images of the garden that i told you all about. Well well another day gone by like a blink.. it is so amusing to see time zip and zoom by while sometimes it just crawls at a turtles pace.. The theory of relativity I believe holds
so true here.. How the time that we so fondly look forward to and get ready for just seems to start and get over at an unbeliev'bly fast pace. Remember your first summer
vacation at school, your last day before your vacations, the evening at your best friends house, the dinner that had all your relatives come to meet you..A picnic with your
mommy and daddy.. Your first date..the first time you took her out for a movie..how for the first time you spent an entire day with your loved one and still felt why a day only had 24 hours and not
more.. Time just flew and slipped away from your hands like how the sand trickles away when one tries to hold it with clutched fingers. .. . And how when you were at a new
place with new people at a new city in a new environment where every second seemed to stretch like hours, how the night before a Maths exam you wondered how a day or a night could just
never end.. When you first suffered a heartbreak how the night never seemed the ever longest... Aaarrgghhh! Ths life and the arrow of time!!well well not long before my day which started off with a bright sunny morning felt quite warm seeing it end at a cold with a windy and a rainy night. It is also a marvel to
see how the weather ends up dictating terms to how one feels. A dark evening with dark clouds waiting to unleash what they'd been carrying for so long made the evening
even more mystic. How everything around me started to get intense in their hue and seemed to either darken or get sharper making it feel like God at his leisure time depicting
the colourful earth on his divine canvas. It is indeed so beautiful to be alive and be aware of all that happens around us and how ones awareness leads to a newer and a
much better place to live in. How every living second is more than a blessing of the Lord ,I understand. How we all can get to be a part of His dynamic cosmos and have a role to play. While some manage to unravel this quest while others fade away trying to decipher it. The eternal quest : to know the purpose of our existence here and the purpose that we are sent for..My heads seems to numb with the passing charm of this night that seems divine and frail and fresh and young.. The cool air seems to soothen my soul rendering in me a
sense of calmness .. hope this stays long enough to keep me in my sanity till the next rainy day!! Rain drops falling on my head.. and they keep falling.. i'd hum that to sleep tonight.. (chuckle chuckle)..he he
Good night all you loving ones!!
Ratin

A lesson from the silent garden !

A walk in the luscious lawns of the hotel I am in .. inspires me always. How this place seems like an oasis in the concrete city jungle is quite divine and how it exudes so much of peace and triggers in me a sense of calmness that rides in my veins slowing my otherwise fast pace also amazes me . So much to learn from every little speck of life that forms a part of this garden .. from the tiny weed that finds for himself comfort in reclining on the not so sturdy stem of a young plant to the majestically poised tall trees out of which one has stood the test of time for years now.. they call it the rain tree.. It has a huge expanse of branches forming a very protective umbrella like cover keeping away the fury of nature , the sun ,the wind and sometimes tiny drops of rain from lashing away the other not so strong ones that live in the shadow of this 'Big Daddy'. I always think how the garden is such a brilliant teacher of life and the world that we are in... en route, I bend down to pick up a frangipani that finds itself fallen off from where it looked best a while ago, her 'mama branch'. This draws my attention to a creeper growing quielty on this strong plant. The plant seems quite strong and willing to help this creeper live on him. and hence both of them are living on a symbiotic relationship. Lesson learnt... Support others to live and live happily even if they cant help you the same way you helped them.... one day i am sure you shall reap the true fruits of it.. keep waiting .. some might say! but thats ok... its hope that we are riding on.. How interesting it is to see these plants and trees have their own designated place that they were planted at or they fell as seeds from fruits long ago and are now big huge trees. They never seem to complain of being at the same place for years. .. they never seems to be drawn into bouts of negative outburst of not being able to change things around them.. they seem happy .. really happy... So then Why does our generation feel so uncomfortable about being where they are .. why are they never blessed to be where they are .. forgetting that so many others can only wish to be in our places.. why can we not be like the modest plant in the garden which seems to always smile when you look at him and even when you dont. How he faces the sun and rain alike , the summer and winter alike.. the night and day alike.. still sheds of its precious leaves through which it drew in his veins life at day and gave away what it could'nt keep within him at night(respiration you understand) . And how selfless are these plants that take in what we dont need and give us what we need to live . How loud they are in their own right that they speak through their silence and yet are loud enough in their own might . Cut them down and their soul burns you with no rain. they never confront you nor do they ever threaten you , they still even after they are cut still come to help you in their own way. the funeral pyre is also made up of wood that once lived and now even after it ceased to live still helps to relieve the soul from the strained dogma of the physical body.. The coffin too is made of wood. This is amazing how while you live you add value and even after you're long gone you still hold value.. How this holds value in life .. a sandalwood tree holds value while it lives and even more after it is cut.. the same way many people in life live everyday like an everybody while some live as somebody.. and some even live after they have ceased to live.. The Mahatma is always around us in thought in action in philos'phy and hey even on the currency. So a person lives as long as he is remembered.. Live a life that even after you're gone .. their is still some worth.. Ahhh preacher preacher that i sound like one ... well well ... this reminds me of a famous saying that my grandma always would tell us " Nature is an infinite sphere of which the center is everywhere and the circumference nowhere. " To this i wish to add what i feel so strongly and i feel holds true.. This how i conclude drawing my comparison of life with nature that we are all a part of is more ways than one "... everything in nature is lyrical in its ideal essence, tragic in its fate, and comic in its existence." I'll be back soon.. feel quite strained and drained.. dizzy and frizzy.. right now.. ah you green green meadows.. i wish to come back to you.. ratin

Cafe Zaffiro

It is almost midnight and thoughts as fresh as daisies kissing the early morning sun through the weeps of last nights dew on it..
How amusingly small is this huge and never ending world i wonder.. i really wonder..
How minuscule we all are and yet as large and glaring we could be in our own figurative ,imaginative or in the real sense of our being... how like the slipping away particles of sand in an hour glass seems to create memories as factual moments as they slip away ..
leaves me to ponder like never before..
How unusually nice it is to feel that certain relationships are associations which are borne out of a moment unexpected and cherished at a space and time and place least expected and that too absolutely with a person you'd never imagine you would..all this when youre at an all together different time at a different space.
I so happened to go back into time and wipe dust off the memories which had been smothered with emotions a myriad in their own facet that i felt a gush in my veins. a place that ne'er seemed to hold importance not so much so because of the association or the time spent in there but because how when it no longer existed where it used it felt that a part of a nice memory was rubbed off.
It quite unusual how in life we draw association to moments , people and emotions so strongly to factual places. How closely we feel drawn back into time or a moment when we stand once again at a 'real factual place' remembering what can never be got back or recreated. the laughter cant be heard no more, the conversations can't be indulged in no more, the expressions cant be felt no more.. but all that can be .. is.. we can be at the same place some more.. and what when the place exists no more .. making it even more grave to feel the moment that went by.
All that is left at the end of the storm is a lull..a lull that marks a beginning to another one soon

what you see is not what you always get!!

Two months down and i am still wondering ....
what is it.. time or space or just a phase.
There is rarely ever a reason for one to not be content for blessings wrapping our otherwise strained lives but they find themselves being glared and ignored at their very origin .
It is also quite achefully amusing that sometimes to find the best recluse to our lonliness then best companion you find is lonliness and some more of it.
In my bouts of lonely escapades where more solitude was a better companion to my existing melancholy.. i thought of this..
the answer to which i seek to find.... it resonates in me every moment..

"What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, 'This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!' Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, 'Never have I heard anything more divine'?”

will i want to live my life just the same way and be conscious of what is to happen and yet not be able to turn it around or will excitement gush in my veins..

still thinking
ratin

A new world in the old One!

Its quite interesting how to make a living for ourselves here we some times have to go out there and do our bit . Quite interesting how a bird first needs to go out of her nest and fly away from her nest before she can finally manage to make one for herself to stay in. Quite interesting how we forst need to go out of the comfort of our homes to make a living and finally make a home for ourselves.
All the more interesting how a child after nine months of sheer comfort and silent recluse finally has to face the glaring light and the noise and finally tread on this new path before he can finally manage to have a home and have his own child ..

Ahhh.. "my bags are packed and ready to go..leaving on a jet plane" these line resonate all through my head as i ready to embark on another travel out of my nest leaving behind my loved ones and my 'nest' to fetch out another new destination miles away .. .I wonder how these travels in my life have changed the course of my life and my thought alike .Since a child nothing has seemed permanent except my family and relatives. Always been on the move .No wonder this enabled me to quickly adjust and adapt but somewhere it re-wired and wired things knot known to me
A new place ,,new people, new culture, new language, new way of life, norms, rules, do's ,donts, etc
A little further in time this new place becomes my place and all the news become my.. my place, my people, my culture and so on.. new friends go onto become close friends etc.. till one day they are also left behind and now a new place new thing story starts again., Aches my heart but thats only to which i can feel.. never had the choice beyond this... Lets see how this new journey will be.. Missing each and everyone soul who misses me and the ones who dont too..
'New place' here i come to see what you do to my life..

I flew with broken wings! A Jazz'y' flight!

The first Eve led Adam out of Paradise by her own will, while the time enthralled in it a unbearable concoction of magnetism and pull which made him enter willingly into the paradise of pure love and high affection by her sweetness and love, Kaafir explored it on a dark night!!

A moment of moments that spoke in a heavenly language , loftier than the voices of tongues and lips.

She led him and he followed, like a child in oblivion of all but only conscious of him and of who he follows. The night even darker than even before but a moment brighter than the brightest star! The moment only got ever more enveloping like a calm lake that attracts the singing rivulets to its depth and makes them silent. Only our spirits can understand the beauty that lies within. It puzzled Kaafir. It puzzled him, unable to describe in his mind. How intriguing it was to see so clearly yet in dark even when some in ray of the Holy sun seem to be blind..

Togetherness of them both seemed like the instance of the only freedom in the world because it elevated the spirit that the laws of humanity and the phenomena of nature could not alter its course. It was a destined Jazz!

Every visit led the wanderer(Kaafir) marvel at the gorgeous beauty and indisputable intelligence and strength she possessed. He felt like an invisible hand drawing him to her.

Every walk into her soul gave him a new meaning to her beauty and a new insight into her sweet spirit, until she became a book whose pages he could understand and whose praises he could sing, but which he could ne'er finish reading. An angel whom providence has provided with beauty of spirit and body is a truth, at the same time both open and secret, which he could only understand by affection and touch only by virtue;for He know to describe such a woman would only mean to render her to vapor.

That jazzy night she seemed rather thoughtful than talkative, and her silence was a kind of music that carried one to a world of dreams and made Kaafir listen to the throbbing of his heart and see the ghost of his thoughts and feelings standing before him, looking at him in the eye.

She sat beside him and linked her spirit with his, it seemed as if each saw in the other's face with what the heart was feeling and they heard the echo of a hidden voice. God has set in the moment an attachment, separation could render nothing but agony.

He was a sorrowful spirit. And a sorrowful spirit finds rest when united with a soul more defined than his. It was hers. Both such spirits join affectionately, as a stranger is cheered when he sees another stranger in a strange land. The moon looked o'er em and it seemed that the karmic connection was written to happen.

Its when they say hearts are united through the medium of sorrowful affection will not be separated by the glory of a cheerful happy separation. A moment cleansed by tears will remain eternally pure and beautiful. Such was her presence.

She had been the spring to him.. moments where she sang songs of happiness for him and led him to sleep.. waking him at dawn to reveal the meaning of life and secrets of the gory world!

Its an accord that needs no name , but that would set the boundaries of our sky and where is a sky with boundaries,

Its an accord that needs no definition for to define is to snatch away the interpretations of our souls from it,

Its an union enjoyed with the thought of togetherness but never with it..

Its an affection, my beloved he says to her,

its a deep affinity that bathes my soul in contentment

a deep hunger for affection, which when satisfied, fills the soul with bounty

a tenderness that creates hope without agitating the soul, changing the earth to Paradise

and my life to a beautiful dream..

I walk when the morning arrives... and a thought sinks my heart... a thought of the inevitable...

(to be contd)

Every song has an end..

My friend Shantanu brings forth a very interestng revelation to me. He gives Mukund a wallpaper which reads
' Every song has an end, that does'nt mean we dont enjoy the music'.

So intriguing.
I decide to ponder over it.

How every beginning in its true form has an end.. What does'nt!
A movie ..ends!
A story.. ends!
A journey ends!
A dark night ends !
A Morning ends!
A cold November rain ends!
A christmas feast .. ends!
A New year ends !

Above all Life ends too..

Ha! so if all ends then why do we still ..

Go watch the movie
Buy the Book to read the story
Emabark on a journey
Wait for the night to dream dreams
Make Hay while the SUN shines
Goto out with our loved one to enjoy a walk in the November rain
Call our loved ones over for the Christmas Feast
Greet each other on New years eve..

why do we wait for mometnts when we are conscious of their demise. Sooner or later!!

Above all why are we born when we have to face the inevitable End..

The answer to all this lies in the simplicity of understanding called the 'functionality of purpose'

Which I interpret as;
Its never the Destination but the moments you gather on the journey
Its never about the end of the book but the story you felt one with till your journey to the last word
Its not about dawn but the journey till the dawn, when you dreamt dreams that you wish came alive
Its not about the end of the Feast but how lovingly you took care of your loved ones when they came for the feast

Its never about fearing the inevitable end but the journey you lived till there.

Live in the Now, All that we are promised is now
All that will go away from us will be our now
Yesterday is our slipped away 'Now'
Tomorrow is our expected and inevitable that would tommorow to turn into a 'Now'

Therefore,
Love Now
Forgive Now
Smile Now
Laugh Now
Appreciate Now
Apologise Now
Dream Now

Above all... LIVE NOW!!
you're not too sure if you'd get another shot at opportunity wrapped in the arms of destiny.. The Time is Now!!

Think about it..
I still am

Ratin..

Thank you Shantanu for helping me dwell on my thoughts concieved of your statement
Happy Birthday too my dear!!

Cherish the Never Cherished!

Life is but a mere reflection of itself in its percieved originality of origin.
We take for granted what we never have to struggle to keep with us. The biggest of these is Life..If we were to know exactly when we would die, all would change.. The air we breathe would smell so different, the water we drink would taste sweeter, the world more shiny, the colours more brigher and colourful.
Cherish your life.. we live only once!!

i'l be back after a few more reflective moments
till then
Keep thinking,
Ratin

Thank you Shantanu for helping me ponder.. Happy birthday too!

A reply..

This was a reply to My friend Kunal on the one liner that he wrote on his blog.. Thought i'd share my reply here too.

In life "Who 'we' matter to are mostly not those who 'we wish' we mattered to"

In the cacophony of all this we face lies, hatred,betrayal and gleam of tears that could put oceans to shame॥

I finallly propose this .

Love those who love you,

Feed those who feed you,

Dream for those who dreamt for you,

Look after those who look after you,

Share with those who share with you,

Smile for those who smile for you,

Laugh for those who laugh with you,

Run a mile for those who ran two for you

LIVE FOR THOSE WHO LIVE FOR YOU

And if a moment comes then

DIE FOR THEM , FOR NEVER FORGET, THEY LIVED ,BUT ONLY FOR YOU ! !

Keep thinking..

Ratin ..

we need much more..

In life it is quite intriguing to see how what we suspect is the cause of the sympton is not what it really is..
Finally a realisation came about that i have shared with my friends and thought i should with the ones i could'nt. I apologise!.

" Some headaches in life are never cured by Crocins . ."

' कुछ दर्द-ऐ-ज़ख्म ज़िन्दगी मे , दवाओं से नही पर दुआओ से भरा करते हैं '

This is the Best i could translate my words in both the languages. Hope they'd invoke some leading and developing thoughts in your minds..

In search of love and peace i retire,

Ratin..

How it all ends is how it all began..

My thoughts are never mine , but the world's..
How can something that is inspired from the external world OF which i am a part of can be mine.
Imagine how minuscle we all are..
Progressively our interpretations becomes as minute or as expansive as we want it to be.

Whats most important in life to understand that situations get critical when they are looked at too closely . look too closely at a text and feel the sharp blinding
Adjust the perspective and see it all fall in place..
All we need to do is see the right things the right way.
Remember how amusing it is to see trains ,cars ,people,animals ,fields and buildings from an airplane... they appear so little even when they're not.. Why??
keep thinking because i am too..

Ratin..Still thinking..