Life..An irony or a fantasy...The Quest!!

Had quite an early start to my day. This happened after a really long time. I remembered my time at Udaipur where sleep would only be a luxury if it crossed five hours a day but nonetheless that’s what I think youth is meant for. To struggle and rough it out. But is it that good only comes to one after he has put himself through a really dark night. Do the first rays of the sun only seem brighter and warmer after one has managed to carry himself through the darkest hour of the night? Maybe yes... maybe no! Time I believe would be the best judge...
My father tells me always ‘Keep walking’. Just two words but they have carried me through every weakest hour. A few words from a father always warm the heart no matter how ‘cold the world seems on the outside’.
My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. Every minute a learning... William Wordsworth said something which holds so true-
He said “Father! To God himself we cannot give a holier name”. No wonder how tall one might grow he still looks UPTO his father. And sure he should!!
Whenever I seem to go through his works and I seem to be lost at the ocean of his works and words. I feel proud and even more overwhelmed at my inadequacy. I feel like reminding myself of the faith entrusted upon me to carry on his work that seeks a place of brilliance and nothing but praise for my father, the Master; who is so gracefully modest of the genius that he is. Years ago my father used to play with me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising ‘THE BOY." .
Not denying the divine presence of the woman who is as loving as always... my mother...!
Well the day seemed quite nice and pleasant in the morning ushering in me a sense of well being and contentment. Though there remained a little stiffness in my back from the night that went by but then work had to be done and presence at work was indeed a must. Work should not suffer... I feel that rest and proper medical attention once I am home would definitely help... Mama I am coming home soon...
My dearest friend Sumit tells me very anxiously of the good work he has been upto at The Hotel I was fortunate to be in a few months ago, The Oberoi Udaivilas. He is definitely a champion and a fighter. I have always learnt so much about good and evil, right and wrong from him. Not to forget the many others who have been as inspiring. I am indeed anxious to know how he pulled off the assignment he was given to carry on through. Do tell me soon …

Well well … a few walks here and there a few chats and a few conversations… and
I am indeed ached by seeing the paradox that life has come to off. And I realize why it has to be the way they tell me it is meant to be. Why do we spill off the innocence that we were born with as life moves on...? Why do we never seem to carry on the faith of love and happiness that we were endowed with when we came into the world?
How ironical it is to see the beginning and end of life . Not to forget the jouney. How the first breath at our arrival is with our tears and all around us are smiles , laughter and biggest cheer .While the last breadth is marked with the same ones crying as intensely as they rejoiced when we came into the world.
How when I see all around I seem to be hounded by such ghory paradoxes that they seem unbelievable. But they are yet so true!!
Taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences but less time. We have more degrees but lesssense, more knowledge but less judgment, more experts yet more problems,more medicine yet less wellness.We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk toomuch, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make aliving, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We'vebeen all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the streetto meet a new neighbour. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned torush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, toproduce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less and even lesser. Ha we now live in the times of big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, toquiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
The time has arrived where who matters to you the most is the same person to who you matter the least. And the one that least matters to you is the one who you matter to the most.
Why why why…??? Can this world and life not be devoid of any of this...? Is there a place where there is no heaven or hell... nothing is too warm to kill or too cold to freeze. Where money is not the basis of survival. Where women don’t sell themselves for a pale of penny or men rob their own brothers of their earned penny.
My heart aches and my soul weeps... it indeed does… but there is only so much I can do...
Maybe some day certainly would some more... but when. .I can feel the pain return to my limbs and joints. I think it is time for me to retire and take proper rest. I am sure that would help me ease of the pain, physiological and psychological...
A quote that I’d want to share that I was sent by a dear friend,

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Aarrrgghghhh…
I need to go back into the cave and resonate in my own silence…
My Love to you all who love me and even more to those who never would... love you more!
Yours always and ever
Ratin...